Source doesn’t mind our fear, our confusion, our doubt. It works around it. Sending us messages and guidance in any form that will get our attention.

Figuring out what to do with your life is the ultimate challenge we all face. And the question comes at us again and again in every new stage of our life.  When you don’t know the answer, it brings up all sorts of resistance—your fear, your frustration, your struggle, your confusion, your doubt. I get it because I’ve been there too!

I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who knew what they wanted out of life. You know the kind of person who practically came out of the womb knowing she would be an actor, the president, or the next Warren Buffet.

My path hasn’t been a straight shot like that. No fast-lane driving for me, going from Point A to Point B the quickest way possible.

My path has been long and winding like an old country road full of stops and starts and stalls.

For years, I resisted my true calling because I was afraid. 

In my mid-thirties, I was aware of a hole in my life. For the most part, I was satisfied—a loving husband, prosperous business, exotic vacations, but I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something missing I couldn’t quite name. 

I began asking big questions, “What’s my purpose, why am I here, what does it all mean?”

These questions haunted me. I needed answers. I couldn’t stop myself from searching because something was calling to me.

I began with meditation. Back then, meditation wasn’t as mainstream as it is today. I practically snuck into this yoga studio every week because I didn’t want anyone to know I was going to a meditation class. It was just too weird to want to sit for two hours meditating in a group!

During that first class, weird stuff began happening. While meditating, I would see lights. I could feel energy. I could sense my Vibe Tribe. FREAKY! Fortunately for me, my meditation teacher understood I needed guidance and suggested I visit a local energy-reader to understand my experiences better.

So, off I went to see the psychic! I felt like Dorothy going to see the wizard. During my session, the wise woman explained I was an “open channel.” 

I was clueless. What?  

She pulls out her iPhone and googles Esther Hicks (Abraham Hick’s channel) and said, “This is what you are. You can do this too.” I bolted from my chair! No way was that me. 

Little did I know, she was right. And that Universe would continue to send me messengers until I listened.

But I’m stubborn. I kept searching for something more “normal.” I attended meditation classes, spiritual retreats, workshops, coaching, and devoured countless self-help books. For years, I was in perpetual motion to find the missing piece and permanently install it in my life. 

But the Universe didn’t give up on me. It kept showing up to kick me in the pants with messages. 

During a trip to Nashville, a friend and I booked appointments with an astrologer. This stranger announced to me (in almost the exact same words as the psychic a year before), “You’re an open channel for Source energy.” He added that I should also get ready for the massive energy headed my way. Again, I dismissed this talk as too crazy, too out there.

I continued trying to search for more normal answers, but the next message was from someone I really admired—Martha Beck, New York Times best-selling author and world-renowned life coach.

I participated in one of Martha’s first equine-coaching retreats. Ten women attended. Each at different stages in their life. Women with normal problems seeking guidance—empty-nesters wanting to know what to do next, ladies seeking career changes, someone contemplating divorce.

When it was my turn to share, I blurted out that I didn’t know why I was there exactly. All I knew is that I loved spirituality, had some kind of hole in my life and was confused by it all.

I’ll never forget what happened. 

Martha looked at me and replied, ”Well, honey, you’re a shaman. That’s why you like the things you do and feel different.” She made me sit next to her and did this weird kinesiology test with my arm—asking me questions and testing my answers with the strength of my arm because the body doesn’t lie. I was in shock.

What’s a shaman? 

After a quick Google search that night back in my hotel room. I had a slight freak out. I called my husband and said, “You’re not going to believe what happened today.”

So, what’s a girl to do who finds herself as a modern-day shaman in a world that doesn’t believe in the mystical? What’s next?

Well, the Universe had an answer for me. Fast forward a year later, I was halfway around the world dining in a restaurant when a waiter approached me. He had an intent look about him that spooked me. And then he announced, “I’m like you, a spiritual seeker. I see you clearly. You’re searching outside yourself, you need to look within.”

What am I in the Twilight zone stuff? A complete stranger sees me and easily read my heart…I was listening! 

I really listened. I took his advice and went within, got super quiet, and felt for what my heart was saying and followed that guidance. It led me to a spiritual teacher who taught me to hone my natural intuitive skills.

My path eventually led me to offer my gifts to others. It wasn’t always easy, and my way continues to be winding. It remains one of discovery and one of slight freak-outs, but the Universe is patient and waits for readiness and willingness.

Source doesn’t mind our fear, our confusion, our doubt. It works around it. Sending us messages and guidance in any form that will get our attention.

I am so grateful to the guides that acted as sign posts along my path.

If your confused or frustrated, hang in there and know your path is unfolding in just the right way for you.

And, if you decide you would like assistance along the way, I am happy to help.